Suggestions for Memetics Part I

I Introduction
A Company Logo
[UNNAMED writes "INRI" on the board behind him with emerging rays; he sits in front of it.]
B Cordiality
UNNAMED
Hello.  Yes: I am neither white nor a Native American. Anyway...

II Marketing
A The Original HeadOn Commercial
HeadOn! 
Your original commercial was actually brilliant
Bordering on art, even.
It was absurdly simple
and meditative. 
Perfect for right before Final Jeopardy
B Marketing as Product
Unfortunately you are better known for that commercial than making a product that...
does whatever HeadOn does. 
This is not a bad thing
People saw Cloverfield
People liked Cloverfield
But the greater cultural impact was the trailer
which, quite appropriately, was shown with the Transformers movie
C Spite Commerce
Your market is exclusively people who saw the commercial
and are buying the product out of spite

III HeadOn
A No pharmaceutical value
Which is good for us
because HeadOn does nothing,
really.
We deserve their spite,
They deserve to waste money.
B Novelty Item
What we have is a novelty item
But it doesn't flaunt its uselessness
It's no Duck with a Dick.
Truly that would try anyone's faith
A distant relative of mine once said
Everything is Vanity
I say: everything is novelty
We just need to separate ourselves from duck with a dick.

IV Religion
A HeadOn as Faith
Speaking of faith:
Is not HeadOn a perfect allegory for faith?
It has no medical credibility
But you can't prove that it won't relieve a headache...
If you believe it will.
B Religion as Marketing
Which is why you've hired me:
I'm the greatest product ever sold.
Faith is a product and Religion is the Marketing
Proto-Marx is quite uninteresting
unless it's tarted up with water into wine
Even immaculate conception isn't that special
Considering how many pagan myths involve it.

V Remixes
A Bible as remix
My story is a remix
But so is every other creative work
Yes, that means nothing is original
Yes, that means we have stopped evolving
Let me cite Duck with a Dick again. 
But that doesn't mean we can't create beauty. 
B Introduce song
So, I'd like to present my own remix
And I think you all know the words,
So should the spirit strike you:
it's just a rub to the left
and a smear to the right
With four part harmony and feeling.

Memetics Part II

To the tune "Yes, Jesus Loves Me"

Chorus:
Head On, apply directly to the forehead.
Head On, apply directly to the forehead.
Head On, apply directly to the forehead.
I hate your commercial, but I love your product.

There's a pain upon my brow
Don't I feel a presence: thou?
Break the seal and lift the top.
Annoint me with this cooling slop.

Chorus

I have got the worst migraine
Like a fœtus in my brain.
No need to pull out a knife
With a tube, I end my strife.

Chorus

For this pounding on my temple
Remedies should all be simple.
Marketing is not an art
When a culture's rent apart.

Chorus

All the studies, they do show:
Psychosomatic; yes, I know.
Works as good as horse manure,
A pound of delusion's worth an ounce of cure.

Chorus

Amen.